Today Not So Much

Other than the crappy weather and events of these past couple of nights I'm not the most cheerful I could be. Im stuck in a rut in life where I can't do much about it. My brother today gave me great advice he said life can't always be happy and wonderful. You have to go through rough times sometimes to get back with God. I think sometimes if life is going great we forget about God and what he's done for us. More that I think about that its so true! I've always struggled with wanting to have a grip on my life and control of it basically. Everyday planned out and wanting to know whats going to happen next but Im starting to learn that I cannot be that way. I envy friends who can just fly by the seat of their pants and always go with the flow. I can do that to an extent but if things aren't going great or stuff is tugging at my heart I am quick to get irrational and upset that I cannot do a darn thing about it. My mother knows me best and she made a great point that maybe God is testing my patients and trying to learn to give it all to God and he will handle it. I've pretty much spent the whole day in prayer. I went out and finally got me a new Bible. It was much needed. I feel hurt and confused at times as well today. Everytime I get this way I've been trying to pray and I can already feel God answering my prayers. I guess this is all a part of growing up and growing spiritually. Well Im off to Jessica's house for some r&r.